December 17, 2010

Okay, dooods, this is as near as I can figure it (oh and you little guys, you might want to skip this because there's people boobage involved, and I drew a diagram. This is not for the feint of heart. I didn't draw nipples, though, because that would have just been gross.)

The blue X is where the Woman landed when she went to do stupid things in the snow. The red parts are what still hurts. Now, I get why her shoulder hurts; anything is gonna hurt if 500 pounds of people crushes it into the ground, even if there is snow to cushion the landing.

Now, the Man says that red place on her chest hurts because when her 500 pounds of self hit the ground, her shoulder went back and it pulled on the tendons and stuff, maybe even the giant chest muscle that attaches to the boobiebone.



This sort of makes sense, but doods, I watch the Woman change clothes sometimes (and! I don't even barf!), and let me tell you, those boobs? The older she gets the floppier they are, and I'm pretty sure I figured it out for reals.

When she landed upside down, those suckers whipped around in the wrong direction and slammed into her upper chest. She's lucky they didn't get her in the face, or whip around her neck to strangle her.

Boobies are dangerous things, let me tell you.

So now she rubs her chest a lot, but I think she's also grabbing her boob at the same time. I dunno, maybe the sudden force of acceleration stretched it or something and she can't get used to it being longer and skinnier.

She needs to stop feeling ouchy, though, because the Man put the Christmas tree up and there are NO presents under it for me. She has to go shopping! I mean, I know Santa will bring me something, but doods, she needs to start think of the kitties and not herself so much, ya know?

16 comments:

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

Oh Max! We unnerstand the Woman getting hurt on the Bloo X. Edges get hurt easy. But that red spot inna center worries us. We mean, you might not get Xmas shopped for AT ALL this year wif her gettin injured like THAT!

We can almost GARANTTEE the male wont do anny good shoppin fer you. Max. Most of them (not ours, pray he reads our Xmas list) are SO LAME.

So we think ya gotta go heal the red spot on the Woman so ya can get good more foods and treats. That IS where we were going, right Ayla?

Ayla: I think so.... Ya did mean we whap TBT OK?

Black Cat said...

Oh Max, I feel for you. This could be a lean Christmas for you unless you can motivate the Man to do all the necessary shopping. Take care of the Woman though, she needs lots of kitteh cuddles! :)xxx

Karen Jo said...

Ouchie! I just bet that hurts. Be sure to purr on the spots that hurt, Max, especially the one between the boobies.

Teddy Westlife said...

The Woman must ALWAYS think of the kitties. That's her job.

Cara n Crew said...

Oh, Max! You are funny! We hope your mom is feeling better and of course, able to get out there and shop :) Purrs-

Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, and Hollie

gizzylaw said...

Max, she is getting there. More purring and stuff will still help. Ouchies like that take time to heal properly. And you don't want them to heal improperly cuz then she won't go shopping ever. That is not good. So Diamond and I say purr a lot lot lot.

Katnip Lounge said...

Max, you are the new Picasso.

Our advice is to order whatever you want on line.

Sparkle said...

Humans, they are big but they are also so fragile! Maybe your human can take some sort of painkiller pills so she can go shopping and get you your presents.

Gemini and Ichiro said...

I hope she gets her boobs and shoulder out to get you some good gifts!

Just Ducky said...

Max you made mum laugh out loud. That is good, she needed a good laugh. She is OK, just sad, no floods of tears.

Zippy, Sadie, Speedy and M'Gee said...

Oh Max, seeing da humans nekkid is da most horribul thing ever! I mean, we see mom when she gets outta da rain room and SHE HAF NO FURS! She's like, pink and red and splotchy and dem hanging boobies is just, well, we shudder to think what would happen if dey ever started swinging around and she din't contain dem...a kitty could be dekapitated by 'em! But we think yoo should do some purring on dat big chest mussel dat attaches to da boobies so she feels better and get yoo da purresents yoo deserve.

Gigi said...

I accidentally see the Human naked once in awhile, and it burns my eyes, man, it burns my eyes. Some things just cannot be unseen, you know?

It's too bad that the Woman is in pain, but she REALLY needs to just suck it up and get out there to PetSmart and PetCo and any other stores that have cool stuff for kittehs. Even Buddah deserves a little something, right?

Please, don't get the Human started on the shopping abilities of men. As if!

Quill and Greyson said...

You could totally be a Doctor Max. Hope you get her feeling better soon.

Daisy said...

Did that medical drawing come from a Gray's Anatomy book? I hoe your mom's boobiebone feels all better soon!

Angel, Kirby and Max said...

Thanks for the picture, Max. I hope she can not run to good and catch you. She might hang you on the Christmas tree for airing her boobs to teh world!

been there, done that said...

OUCH! Find a chiropractor that uses an activator and have them work on it...I had the very same problem and mine fixed it...but she is one in a million and lives in VA.