23

OK, this is really not what it looks like.


Today is the Man's birthday.
His FIFTIETH birthday.
So today I gave him the ultimate gift.
Me.


Really, what more could he want?

19

Ok, this is NOT what it looks like.


I just wanted that space to curl up and nap on, and the Woman just HAPPENED to be there and I wanted to use the folded up sweatshirt she uses as support because he shoulder hurts if she doesn't and she's way too lazy to just get up and go get a small pillow to put my head on and her arm just HAPPENED to be on it.

I was not trying to cuddle up to her.

Nope.

13

Doods! Look! Skeezix's Food Lady is launching something REALLY COOL!





It's mousebreath! and dooods, it's a magazine for US!

Go peek!

14

Know why I looked so forlorned in that picture?

Because I am not getting the attention I deserve, and the woman has been so busy "working" that she hasn't been willing to let me near the computer.

Oh, and let me tell you, the last few days no one wanted to get anywhere near her while she was hogging the computer. Her book was done, all edited and proofed and reproofed and rewrites and all that chit was done, so it was time to turn it into a book.

The problem was, her software was not playing nice. And the more it refused to play with her the more ticked off she got and guys? I was really starting to think she was going to either start chucking things around the house, or she was just going to EXPLODE.

Really.

As in, one giant humanoid =BOOM= that would have left brains and guts and blood all over the place. And I'm pretty sure that most of it would have spattered on the computer, which would have made using it later really gross.

Then after she got it figured out and got the thingy she needed to give to the people who will turn her crap into a book, she tried to turn it all into an e-book, and again her stuff wouldn't play nice. But she didn't even try to mess with it too much, she asked for help from someone with brains, and he fixed it for her.

But man...that was a terrifying couple of days.

I thought that since she's done with the book that I'd get some attention, but then I heard her say tonight she's going to start something new. That means like another YEAR of inadequate Max time.

I am so annoyed.

22


sigh...

15

This is so unfair. Look at this.


The Woman sat down with this and you know what she said to me? She said "This is not for kitty."

It's a hot dog! It's a TURKEY hot dog! Oh hell YES it's for kitty!

Now look. She had a lot of food there. Why couldn't I have the hot dog and she could eat those stick thingies? I'd have happily let her have the stick thingies.

She sat there and ate the whole thing in front of me, and then didn't even get up to get MY dinner for like 20 minutes!

I am so abused.

19

See how annoyed I look?


Oh yeah, I am annoyed. I am annoyed because the other day the people came home and were all "Oh look we brought you guys a present!"

It was grass.

Big whoppee chit.

I don't like grass.

Buddah, on the other paw...


It's been a cacophony of nom nom nom slurp nom nom nom ever since.

They better bring ME a present soon...

19

I had an epiphany of sorts this morning; I was trying to decide what I wanted to do: take nap #3, look out the window, lick myself, or dig a toy out of the toy basket and play with it.

Well, I had just woken up from nap #2, there's nothing worth looking at out our pathetic windows, I took an bath between naps 1 and 2, so that left getting a toy out. The problem was, what to play with?

Nip banana?
Feather toy?
Buddah's track ball thingy?
Squiggly thingy?

I had way too many choices. I mean, I had an embarrassment of choices.

Dooods.

I own way too much stuff.

And that got me to thinking. I have all this stuff, and it's really good stuff, and I've played with all of it, but I don't need it all. Mostly I like my nip banana, so I'd like to keep that, but the rest of it?

I think I want to give it away.

Now, I figure my toys are worth something, because they're coated in my very own spit and fur, so my friends just might like to have something. So, I made a list of everything I have, and I want to give it away.

You want one of my toys?

CLICK HERE FOR THE LIST AND TO MAKE YOUR SELECTION

'Cuz, you know, I'm all generous and chit...