Your fake fire...it does not amuse me...

There the Woman goes, rubbing more yellow stuff on the walls. I'm not sure why; the walls were a perfectly acceptable shade of brown before but apparently this is what she does when she gets bored. You know, she could be making a lap for me or baking chicken and real live fresh dead cow, but no...

The only good thing about it is listening to her tell Buddah over and over "no no no no no..." He wants to help, but she's not letting him. He ran through the room and flicked his tail against a wet wall and now it's got white on it (she rubbed the walls with white first. WTH?) This bothers him a lot, so it amuses me.

I was even more amused when she held him down and tried to clean it off, but it's not going anywhere... That's what you get for trying to be helpful.

Doods.....dooods, you are not going to believe this. Tonight there was a kitty in our back yard that looked just like Victor Tabbycat. Buddah noticed him first and went to the window, and they played chase from the kitchen window to the library windows and back again, and when they ran back to the kitchen window Buddah shouted out, "Hey! Are you Victor? Did you transport over to play?" He scrambled to try to get the window open to let him him, and he yelled out for me to come see, but you know what the Woman did? DO YOU?

She marched up to the window and banged it and scared that kitty away.

How very, very rude of her. I mean, what it if was Victor and she scared him away so bad he never comes back? Buddah was all excited to see a friend kitty instead of a Rude Outside Evil Introoder Kitty, and the Woman just chased him off like it didn't matter.

Victor, dood, if it was you I am very, very sorry that I have such a Rude person. I think we woulda had lots of fun playing in the house, especially since the Woman was busy rubbing yellow stuff all over the walls.

Oh holy...the People moved a bunch of furniture around, and moved boxes--the boxes I liked to jump on--from one room to another, and now the Woman is putting TAPE on the walls. Blue tape, like regular see-through tape isn't good enough. Or maybe because she's so old and nearly blind she can't see the see-through tape on the wall, but whatever.

The point is that my people clearly are insane. They're trying to do m-word stuff without actually implementing the m-word.

Like, why? Things were fine right where they were!

And the tape...WTF?

Seriously, what is wrong with my people?

Dooods...best day EVER! Today the Woman turned on the thingy on the bed that makes it all warm, so Buddah and I decided to be nice to each other so we could sleep on it, and she LEFT it on for us ALL DAY. Plus, the Man turned on the fire thingy because the Woman said she was cold, and I got to lounge in front of that as much as I wanted.

But the best part? THE BEST PART? They went to let that guy Denny cook for them tonight and the Woman brought back grilled chicken for us, a whole piece! She cut it up and gave half to us, and tomorrow we get the other half!

Something to worry about. I looked up "gall" in the dictionary, and it basically is a polite way to say "bitchy." So if the Woman got the thingy inside that stores all that gall up ripped out, does that mean she's just going to cut loose with all her inner bitchiness? Because I didn't sign up for that, you know. Once a month is enough...if it's, like, every freaking day I may have to find me a girlfriend kitty to shack up with. A spayed one. So I don't have to face any more gall...

Ok, so the Woman won't let me curl up on her stomach and purr to try to make her feel better, so I went with the next best thing...while she was sleeping I curled up next to her pillow and purred. Yeah, I know, not the studliest thing to do but I have a vested interest in her full recovery. The Man is feeding us just fine, but sooner or later he's gonna go pass gas again and it would help if she was fully functional.

Oh and don't tell her, but a few times while she was sleeping, I petted her face with my paw.

I suppoe I should thank the Man for turning the computer on for me the other day so I could blog...that would be the olite thing to do, but y'all know me... funny thing, too, the Woman is home and on drusg and it's my typing that goes all to hell. Go figure. But she's doin all right... but she won't let me help. We all know my job as the Head Kitty in Charge is to purr on her so that she heals up faster--because if she heals up faster my life will be so much better--but she won't let me climb up on her and purr. So if it takes her a while to heal, it;s her own damned fault!