Sometimes, waking the Woman up in the morning is an exercise in amusement for me. I've stuck my nose up her nostrils, put my face in her mouth; I have bounced off her tummy, her butt, and her boobs. I have even put my mouth so very close to her ear, and then meowed as loudly as possible.

Invariably, I get the desired result: she's up, awake and wondering What the &$## just happened??!?

But this morning. Oh man, this morning. I crawled on top of her and was going to curl up and wait nicely, but her head was positioned just so and her ear was right there in front of my face. It was begging me to do something.

Seriously, I heard it.

So I stuck my tongue in her ear.

Oh Holy Cat, you would not believe the ICK that lives in that Woman's ear! It was tons of this goopy, gross, disgusting JUNK and IT STUCK TO MY TONGUE!

I had to flick my tongue in and out of my mouth fifty two hundred times just to get half of it off and I was so bothered by it that I was practically dancing on the bed and she opened an eye and then said, "Gotta pee, Mister Max?"

And then she laughed at me! As if it was FUNNY!


There is nothing funny about her apparent lack of hygiene. Seriously. Don't people clean those things out? I mean, they need them to HEAR with, you'd think they'd keep them unobstructed from sound waves.

It does explain a lot, though. At least now I know why it always seems like my entirely polite requests fr crunchy treats seem to fall on deaf ears.

They're plugged up.


Comments (20)

Gemini actually likes to lick the Woman's finger after she has had it in her ear and Gemini licks the stuff off--gross right?

OMC you have to endure so much poor Max!

Oh, Max! That is the best. Sticking your tongue in her ear. Sorry it was gross. It should have been a shock to her!

I'm guessing you won't ever try that again, Max. It must have tasted horrible! I can't blame the Woman for laughing at you, though. You must have been quite a sight.

Ewww. Seriously.

Huffle Mawson

Ewwww, best not try that!

Queen Munchkin used to like doing that to Bob when she decided it was treat time. He would generally levitate about two feet off the bed covers and all. Lots of fun to watch, but I wouldn't want to be the one doing the licking.


Wow, I bet you didn't see, er ah, taste that one coming!

Oh, Max--you just tell it like it is! When Tommy wakes up after not taking off her face and eye paint--how can she EVEN see since her eyes are stuck together....! Humans!

Oh my word. That was way too funny Max!!!

Yuck-O! Hahahahaha!

The Woman's ear tricked you by begging you to do something. I think maybe you should teach it a lesson.

Max, so you're telling us that the woman had the last laugh? And now you're making me laugh too.

Why is it that when I go to the vet, the vet calls my ear junk "a yeast infection", then cleans it and squirts goop in it that I shake on everyone and everything in my room? Why is it that when one of my 'rents goes to the humanvet, the humanvet says, "Ooh! DON'T stick your finger in your ear to clean that #$@ out!" In other words, pay me large sums of $$ to do it! My 'rents clean my junk out of the easy to reach parts and give me an ear massage thinking that I won't notice the cleaning. HAH!

We think you learned an important lesson, Max...a gross one...but important nonetheless...

That sounded just nasty...sorry you had to go through that, Max. Ewwwww.

Purrs and hugs,
The Kitty Krew

Hmmm, I haf licked The Big Thing's ear (which sends him right up to the ceilin but he doesn't haf a claws good enough ta stick there). He had nothin. Must be somethin wrong wif him...


I think...U are a great kitty...


Good one, Max! Note to self: Nina ears: tasty. Mom ears: not so much.

Dood, didja get a milk ring yet? How bout now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? How bout now? Now? Now? Now? How bout now? Now? Now? Now? How bout now? Now? Now? Now? How bout now? Now? Now? Now?