The PsychoKitty Speaks Out

"Why," the email asked me (because emails speak, don'tcha know) "don't you have a girlfriend? Are you...you know...?"

I get asked that every once in a while. Why I don't have a kitty girlfriend, not about whatever ...you know... means. Whatever ...you know... means sounds ominous, but there's nothing ominous about me, so I guess I'm not ...you know.... And if I'm not, I guess I'm ...don't know...?

Whatever. I do not have a kitty girlfriend and am not looking for one.

That doesn't mean I don't find many, many of the girl kitties in the blogosphere special and nice and wonderful and attractive. I do. But even if I wanted a girlfriend, they've all got boyfriends, and I would never ever bat my beautiful green eyes at another boy kitty's special girl. That's disrespectful, and I like to reserve my disrespect for People, not my kitty buds.

Here's the other thing. It's the one good thing about the People having me nootered, robbing me of my boy bits. Since I'm useless to girl kitties when it comes to the things girl kitties need boy kitties for, it means my affections can be spread out a little. I don't have to like just girl kitties, I can really like my boy buds, too.

Truly, there's nothing wrong with a little mancrush, you know. I mean, I would not go so far as to say I carry notions of a bromance with any of my guy kitty buds, but since I've been nootered beyond all repair, I'm free to seriously like all my kitty friends the same. If I find another boy kitty especially handsome, there's not a thing wrong with me saying so. If I find a girl kitty beautfulest, that's awesome, too.

Basically, I'm an equal opportunity crusher. I can think Luxor and Beau Beau and Harley are every bit as pretty as Daisy and Sadie and LC. I can have a little crush on any kiity, boy or girl, and it doesn't mean anything beyond that I find them fun and funny and I can't wait to read their blog every day.

So no. I don't have a girlfriend. I have lots of friends and I think they're all beautiful and I can crush on all of them no matter if they're boys or girls. And I doubt I'm ...you know... but perhaps I'm ...polyfriendcrush...

You know?