Every night before she goes to bed the Woman closes the bathroom door most of the way, probably because her eyeballs are so freaking delicate that she can't tolerate the sunshine that streams in through the little window in the morning. It wakes her up and makes her cranky. I'm an observant kitty; I noticed that she did this every single night.

A few weeks ago she finally realized that every morning when I was batting her glasses around that I was trying to be helpful and was getting them for her. Lacking opposable thumbs, they sometimes wound up on the floor. Sometimes ballisticly. But hey, what can a person expect? She quit getting upset about it and was even impressed when I managed to get her glasses between my teeth and then dropped them on her pillow. She didn't even complain when my mighty tooth scratched them.

The fact that it took her 7 years to figure this little thing out really isn't surprising. She has that whole People Brain thing going on. What *is* surprising is that it finally occurred to her in the last week that every morning while she gets dressed I open the bathroom door for her, and while she does her biznezz I try to open the thingy where she keeps her drugs. I haven't quite mastered that yet, but I am trying. I really figured it would take her another 7 years to figure that much out.

Man, all I ever do is be helpful, and it takes YEARS to get a little appreciation for it. But does that get me any extra crunchy treats?


I don't need more head skriches. I need SUSTENANCE. Maybe shrimp.

And a donut. That would be good, too.

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