Posted by Max | Posted on 12/12/2013 11:01:00 PM

Okay, so today the people put pants on--REAL PANTS--and left the house, saying they were going shopping for toys.

Now, the Younger Human doesn't play with toys.

The people don't play with toys.

So clearly, they were buying cat toys. I am a cat; I occasionally hunt the toys in the house to kill them.

When they go shopping they're usually gone for a long time, so I went into the room with the big comfy bed and jumped up there to take a long nap, and I admit, I was a little excited. New toys! It's been a while since I've had a toy I wanted to kill, so that was something to look forward to.

But then they came home, and what did they have?

A whole lot of nothing.

Seriously, nothing.

They walked in empty handed.

At first I thought they'd just struck out and couldn't find anything Max-worthy, but then the Woman left her phone where I could see it and LOOK AT THIS

Water fountain not included
There are a lot of toys there but not one damned cat toy.

So when the Woman sat down I jumped in her lap and was going to tell her exactly what I thought about it but then she went and said, "Lots of toys, right, Big Guy? And you bought most of them."

Well dammit, now I can't even be mad.

Not even a tiny bit.

Second load being delivered to the fire station
And really, doods, you bought these toys: it took 2 trips, filling up the back of the HHR both times. I save most of my money from my books every year to buy things for Toys for Tots at Christmas and some random cat thingies for cats that need cat thingies, but this is the Toys Haul.

When you bought copies of my books, you were also buying toys for sticky people who might not get much for the holidays.

It would have been nice if they'd SAID this is what they were doing instead of getting me all excited about waking up to a new thing to kill, but it's cool. Now I feel all warm and tingly, and it's not much longer until Christmas, and Santa will hook me up. The Woman assures me that she made sure he knows I would like a new nip banana and some real live fresh dead shrimp, and that's all I really want or need.

Thanks, guys. I don't always get a real feel for how many books I sell or where the money goes, but seeing this?

I freaking have warm fuzzies right now.

Now, pet my head and tell me I'm pretty. I feel pretty tonight.

Comments (25)

That was awesome Max, way cool and yes, you are one handsome dood!♥

Paws up, Max - great work! Although, yeah, the humans should have been a little bit more clear about the kind of toys they were getting.

Awesome,Max! And very pretty!


Not bad at all, devil may care handsome mancat!

That is so sweet of The Woman and The Man, Max. And very manly of you.

that is amazing Max....we bet the sticky people will appreciate getting something fun this year :)

Here's a big kiss on your head Max. You are beautiful! :)

Way to go Max! Santy Claws will be very impressed with you this year. This definitely puts the scale over to the Nice side for you. Merry Christmouse!

Dude, that is so awesome! Yup, you're pretty...on the inside and the outside!

Max, that is a major haul! You go!

Well... that's an AMAZIN' thing you did for all those kids who are in need of toys. Simply amazin' but... I do feel for you with there not bein' a single toy for you.

Don't fret though. Your peep is right. Santa will bring you somethin' wonderful, I am sure. That's just the kind of thing the big guy in red does.


You are the total best ever and super pretty. Wow, who would have thought our money would buy so much cool stuff to help the rest of the world with.

Wow, Max, you must have sold lots of books. Mom read all your books to me. Well, I just think you are one awesome kitty and it was so kind of your people to take your money and buy kids stuff to play with...purrfect. This is the true holiday spirit.

You're definitely pretty, Max. Awesome haul for the Tots. I have a feeling Santa will come through. You just let me know if he doesn't. I know where he lives. ;)

Max, you do good work (in many ways)!!

You're pretty, Max. Seriously, dood...that's just awesome.

As I have always said Max, "You are the CAT!".

Good for you Max for making lots of kids happy with new toys.

You did a pawsome job Max. That must have been a lot of books sold.

Your beans are pretty special too!

Sasha, Sami, & Saku

It just shows that you are a cat of much caring, though we will keep the secret to protect your dignity and blog reputation,

Sweet and pretty, Max! I think Santa will have some special stuff for such a good kitty.
Just wait till after he comes to whap ANYONE!

You did great Max. A lot of kids are going to be very happy.

Max you are pretty....especially inside! I am so thrilled about how happy you have made the little sticky people who would be sad this Christmas without your generosity! Santa told me how happy you will be too. He knows about you!

Humans can be kind of slow when it comes to matters like this- what we have to put up with. ConCATulations Max for being such a pawesome writer and benefactor for kittehs and sticky human kits in need! Mew deserve a whole batch of nip nanners and a barrel of dead shrimp. Purrs to mew!