HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Yep.

Don't party too hard, doods!

It's Time for Santa, Guys!

...Cuz that's how I roll...

Okay, it's not me.
But I totally would, if I could figure out how...

SECRET PAWS!!!

Doods, I totally did not expect to get mail today but I got a BIG box, and on it was a return address that said,

SECRET PAWS

FRIENDS FUREVER

and it was for me and Buddah! I inspected it pretty closely before it got opened and I could already tell there was some stellar stuff inside.

I mean, look all all this!

There were crunchy treats--TEMPTATIONS!--and toys and a nip banana and a scracther, and this little red sproingy toy that Buddah went nuts over, and even a mug for the Woman!

(Ok she took it whether it was for her or not. Because IT IS AWESOME and she thinks it's too nice for me or for Buddah.)

See? it is pretty spiffy.

We took too many pictures to show here, so if you want to see us get our presents from Allie, Ellie, and Raz from Friends Furever, go peek at the whole set of pictures on our Flickr thingy.

Allie & Ellie & Raz, thank you so much! Your gifts were super spiffy and totally made my day!

I'm really digging the tree this year

I mean, look at it. It's loaded with Doctor Who awesomeness, and one of my beds is near it--you can see the corner of it in the picture, there on the lower left--and it's near the fire place thingy.

And even though none of those presents are for me--and that's cool because I ask the people to spend money on toys and stuff because I know Santa will hook me up--I like looking at them. The Woman got all inspired and color-matched presents to people. The blue ones are for the Younger Human and the red and white ones are for the Man (and trust me, it's more even than it looks) and having them stacked like that makes for my absolutely favorite part.

Having everything there makes my nook even more private and I can take nice, quiet, Buddah-free naps, because he never thinks to look behind the tree. Doods, he's not even really playing with the tree this year. And that's a good thing, because the really cool Doctor Who ornaments are glass. Heck, there's another bigger tree in the front room and he's leaving that alone, too, though he gets under it.

That's actually all right. The people bought the skirt thingy just for us, so we'd have something soft to lay on if we wanted to lounge under the tree. I don't use it, really, but Buddah likes it.

There's only a week until Christmas, guys! ONE WEEK! I'm excited because I'm pretty sure Santa will bring me a new nip banana, but I'm also not looking forward to it because that means that not long after the tree will get put away and I'll lose my private space.

I wonder if I can glue the tree down when no one is looking...

The Woman went shopping with DKM today...

...and what did she get me?

NOTHING. She got me a big fat NOTHING.

On the other hand, she bought a couple somethings for That Damned Dog Butters. But ya know, I'm so used to it now that I didn't even bother registering a complaint. I just plopped down on the floor, hitched my back leg up, and licked myself.

I'm just gonna be 6 kinds of chill, and wait for Santa to bring me that real live fresh dead shrimp.

I'm not even gonna go poop on anyone's pillow.

Just chill.

That's how I roll.

What? Hell yes I've been in the nip tonight. Why are you asking?

Hmphf

Okay, so today the people put pants on--REAL PANTS--and left the house, saying they were going shopping for toys.

Now, the Younger Human doesn't play with toys.

The people don't play with toys.

So clearly, they were buying cat toys. I am a cat; I occasionally hunt the toys in the house to kill them.

When they go shopping they're usually gone for a long time, so I went into the room with the big comfy bed and jumped up there to take a long nap, and I admit, I was a little excited. New toys! It's been a while since I've had a toy I wanted to kill, so that was something to look forward to.

But then they came home, and what did they have?

A whole lot of nothing.

Seriously, nothing.

They walked in empty handed.

At first I thought they'd just struck out and couldn't find anything Max-worthy, but then the Woman left her phone where I could see it and LOOK AT THIS

Water fountain not included

There are a lot of toys there but not one damned cat toy.

So when the Woman sat down I jumped in her lap and was going to tell her exactly what I thought about it but then she went and said, "Lots of toys, right, Big Guy? And you bought most of them."

Well dammit, now I can't even be mad.

Not even a tiny bit.

Second load being delivered to the fire station

And really, doods, you bought these toys: it took 2 trips, filling up the back of the HHR both times. I save most of my money from my books every year to buy things for Toys for Tots at Christmas and some random cat thingies for cats that need cat thingies, but this is the Toys Haul.

When you bought copies of my books, you were also buying toys for sticky people who might not get much for the holidays.

It would have been nice if they'd SAID this is what they were doing instead of getting me all excited about waking up to a new thing to kill, but it's cool. Now I feel all warm and tingly, and it's not much longer until Christmas, and Santa will hook me up. The Woman assures me that she made sure he knows I would like a new nip banana and some real live fresh dead shrimp, and that's all I really want or need.

Thanks, guys. I don't always get a real feel for how many books I sell or where the money goes, but seeing this?

I freaking have warm fuzzies right now.

Now, pet my head and tell me I'm pretty. I feel pretty tonight.

I'm just surprised he still sorta fits in that

First he was like this

Then he was all

I feel his pain. It really sux when someone interrupts a good nap by taking a picture.

I know those feels, little dood...

Gimme!

Cripes

It's December, right?

Chilly outside, right?

Fire thingy weather, right?

So why won't the Woman PUT SOME PANTS ON???

Seriously...aside from the eye bleach I'm hoping Santa brings me, instead if pant she wears these slippery shorts that fit like skin, and that makes it very unpleasant for me to sit on her lap.

It's cold.

She should wear pants.

Five bucks to whomever can convince her that she needs pants.