12

Dooods. There's a blogger we must win over. His name is Rick Lax and he has blogged about dogs being BETTER than cats! (can you fathom???) and aiming an Airzooka at the cat (though I have to admit, I would probably enjoy this. If not, I want one to chase Buddah with.)

I am going to keep an eye on him because he may prove to be somewhat amusing...we must show him the error of his ways and bring him to the Side of Right and Ceiling Cat.

13

Dooods...we forgot Buddah's 5th birthday. And Buddah is mightily upset by this fact, but there's really nothing that can be done about it now. Forgotten is forgotten.

But, to make him feel a little better, I did this:


max sneaking some time on Buddah's bed


Oh yeah, I did it. I got on his bed and got my funk all over it.

He can thank me later.

9

OK, the Woman has a couple of friends who have this thingy where people and kitties can ask questions, and they answer them. Kind of like public email, I guess. But I get lots of weird and funny questions sometimes, so I decided to jump on their bandwagon and create an account at the place where the questions can be asked. Bonus: you don't have to go there to ask me a question, you can do it from the little box in the sidebar that says Ask Max Anything.

So ask me! I'll answer anything.


later edited to add: To make it easier to read the answers and for you to be able to comment, the Woman created a new blog, Ask Max Anything. Ask the question here or there, it'll all wind up in my formspring inbox, I'll answer the questions as I get them, and they'll pop up on there, the Ask Max blog, and my Facebook page (if you're my FB friend. If not, why not?)

16

Holy real live fresh dead shrimp on a stick, sometime when I wasn't looking I went over half a million visitors. Half a million doods! That's like, more than a hundred!

It took six and a half freaking years, but still.

Man...six and a half years. Evidently I have a lot to say...

I'm only eight and a half years old, so I probably have a lot more to say still, but I don't think my People will like much of it.

19


Happt St Catrick's Day

21

People are starting to get all excited over losing an hour tonight. Really. They're all "Oooh, the time is changing! Ooooh, I don't like this! Oooh, we need to keep our hour, I want to sleep!"

People.

You're not losing an hour. You're just time shifting. There will still be 24 hours in a day, the moon will rise and the sun will still set, and if you're that worried about losing an hour of sleep, keep your butts in bed!

We need to go to Daylight Savings Time. We need it! You know why we need it?

Because the Woman is a whiny little witch-widda-b, and she's night blind, and I'm farking tired of hearing about it getting dark too early, and I need the time t change so that my head doesn't pop and make my brains splatter all over the walls.

29

This disturbs me... but you should make your people watch it because, well, it's very disturbing and people should be disturbed.





You disturbed now, too?

21

I survived. A few hours after the People left to go do stupid things in the snow, the Younger Human showed up with that DAMNED DOG BUTTERS. Now, I knew he was coming, but when he wasn't there right after the People left, I figured maybe he changed his mind, so I relaxed on top of the climbing tower in the library.

Mistake.

I was half asleep and then the door was being opened, and there he was in all his yapping, spastic glory. So I ran as fast as I could and I freaking flew over the hall gate, headed straight for the man's closet, and stayed there for 125 hours, or at least until the People came home and that DAMNED DOG BUTTERS left.

Luckily for me, the People decided to come home a day early because they're wimps and wanted to get ahead of 18" of snow that was headed for the mountains. And I was like, "Duh, you need snow to do those stupid things on, so you're leaving because it's going to snow?" but they were all "But there was going to be wind too, and we're very delicate creatures and don't want to die on the windy mountain roads," so I was like, "Yeah, whatever, at least that DAMNED DOG BUTTERS is gone."


Saftey


Just to be sure, I stayed up on high things for a while, because you never know when a dog is going to hide and then jump out and surprise you.

They say they're going to go do stupid things in the snow again next week, but they're not going to be gone overnight, so I don't have to worry about hiding in the closet.

And you guys know, I'm not hiding because I'm afraid of Butters, right? I'm hiding because HE MIGHT EAT ME.