The PsychoKitty Speaks Out

I was all curled up in the bed that Buddah never uses, all relaxed and about to fall asleep, when the Woman said, "Max, if I lie down would you curl up on my back and purr really hard?"

I glared at her and grunted, "No."

"My back hurts," she whined.

So? I thought, but did not say anything.

"You have a nice purr machine. It would make my back feel tons better."

"And what's in it for me?" I asked.

"I'm starting to feel all rubbery and achy. But the pool water was nice and warm."

"What's in it for me?" I repeated.

"This what I get for not working out for so long."

"Yeah, you're lazy. We all get that. If I purr for you, what do I get?"

"Getting old bites."

"Yeah, and you're fat, too. Give me treats and I might purr your back all better."

She sighed and said, "Well, maybe later."

Yeah, right. There better be a big pile of crunchy treats or I won't even think about it. I mean come on, that's what you get for playing in water. No good can come of it. I could have told you it was a bad idea if you'd asked me before you did it, so why should I fix it for you after the fact?