The People are playing some blog game of tag, and evidently they want me to play. So I'm amusing them and playing.

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

And the list is:

If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper... If I could be a proctologist...
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi...
If I could be a mob boss... If I could be a backup singer...
If I could be a CEO... If I could be a movie reviewer...
If I could be a monkey's uncle... If I could be a CSI...
If I could be a contortionist... If I could be a TV preacher...

Mine:

If I could be a psychologist, I'd finally FIX all you People! Really. You need fixing!

If I could be a contortionist; I am one. See? I can lick my goodies, and you can just sit there and watch, ever jealous of my flexibility.

If I could be an athlete, I'd be on TV where the whole world can enjoy and worship the sleek back and whiteness of Max, performing stuning feats for your amazement.

If I could be a farmer, I would grow the World's Finest Catnip, and we'd all be happy as chit. And hungry. I'd better grow crunchy treats and Cheetos while I'm at it.

If I could be a lawyer, I'd sue the Peoples' sorry asses for undue stress caused by moving and for starving me by not giving me Stinky Goodness on demand. I'd make sure I not only own them, but everything that they think is theirs.

I'm tagging The Man, you, and you.

You can let me know who you are, if you want to play.

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