Sigh.

Obviously, I am not dead. They tried hard, but it didn't quite turn out the way they planned. I had to dig down deep and do some pretty mean things, but it meant that I came out on top.

The People started off by grabbing me and shoving that horrible stick in my mouth and rubbing it all over my teeth. Then they shoved me into the plastic tomb and took me outside. It's all bright and hot outside, and I did not want to go, but I stayed calm and quiet, looking for a way out. They're People, afer all, not the brightest bulbs in the species pack. There's always a way around what People want.

Well. They took me to this place that smells like the little pads the Woman rubs on her arm before she shoots up takes one of her "medications," and somewhere in the back there was a yappy little dog just screaming to be saved. The lady at the desk said it was just a dog that wanted to go home. Well, yeah. Of course he wanted to go home! His People dropped him off in a stinky pace and left him! How freaking mean is that???

That's when knew it was serious.

They took me into this room and took me out of the plastic tomb, and some guy with no hair came in. Dr. Stoner. Yeah, I don't think I need to ask how he got that name... He started poking at me and he looked into my ears, but when he yanked on one of my legs, that's when I let him have it. Yep, I hissed at him as hard as I could and took a swipe with my paw--I let him know who was really in charge.

The Man tried to touch me to make me feel better, so I let him have it, too.

That's when the bald guy went out of the room. I thought it was over, but no...he came back with a towel and freaking covered me with it and took me into another room! I figured that was it, they were covering my face so I couldn't see it when they shot me, but he pulled a fast one. He didn't shoot me after all.

No, the SOB stabbed me! Right around my shoulders! I couldn't even look to see it coming. It was like =blink= and STAB.

But that was it. He stabbed me, and when I didn't die, he wrapped the towel around me a little more and took me back to the People, who acted like they were sorry.

Phhft. Right. Sorry my ass.

While they stood there and talked to the bald guy the Woman tried to pet me, and you know what I did? Do you?

I hissed at her and then I bit her! Right on her thumb! I just snagged it with my long tooth, but it was enough to let her know I wasn't taking any more of this crap. She knew right then and there I expected to be put back into the plastic tomb and taken home.

So she did. She put me back and took me home, where she gave me some crunchy treats and told me that even though I wasn't a "good boy" she understood. Well she better understand! I got stabbed! I deserved those treats even though I bit her.

My only disappointment was that I didn't get to bite Dr. Stoner.

That wasn't for lack of trying.

I win!

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