All right now...the Woman is still practicing her walking, and let me tell you, it's just a massive FAIL. She's not getting any better, that's for sure. She comes home and instead of having a nice smooth gait--which one would rightly expect from all that practicing--she walks like someone shoved a broomstick up her asterisk.

The whole coordinating the feet and legs must be too much for her to handle, because she spent hours at it this weekend, and what'd she have to show for it? Aside from the broomstick being where it didn't belong? She was soaked in sweat--which means it's just too hard for her--and she stuck all this weird sticky stuff to her feet. She says it's called moleskin, but doods, I went online and looked at pictures of moles, and their skin does NOT look like that, and even if it did, it wouldn't belong on her freaking feet! So all that practicing in the sun must be baking those two or three remaining brain cells.

Really, she should just stop. She's never going to get the hang of it, and this getting up early and leaving the house so that I have to wait for the Man to come home and feed me is just annoying the snot out of me.

But man, you think she'd have figured it out by now.

Comments (17)

Max, You really should try to be nicer to the Woman because she's doing this for such a good....
Oh heck no! I can't even keep a straight face trying to say this! You're totally right! Your human has to practice walking? That's just sad!
And making you WAIT for food? That's unforgivable.

How many miles is she walking every day! She could have walked all the way across California by now!

Max, if it was just the woman I (and the hairballers) would totally get it. But its THE BOOBIES!!!!! So she can't do it right...The BOOBIES don't care. They just want her to do it for them.
Yeah, she only has a couple of brain cells but at least she is giving them up for a good cause!

Hi Max. She's not practicing to learn to walk but she's training so that she can walk 20 miles, 3 times in 3 days. But go on. You are so funny when you say she's practicing her walking and is getting worse.

Love your blog, so keep 'em coming.

Hi Max. She's not practicing to learn to walk but she's training so that she can walk 20 miles, 3 times in 3 days. But go on. You are so funny when you say she's practicing her walking and is getting worse.

Love your blog, so keep 'em coming.

Aww c'mon Max, give her a break. We probably wouldn't walk more than 20 yards in a day if we didn't want to let alone 20 miles. Tell her she's doing great and you may get extra treats or even steak.

You can't teach humans, Max. Just saying.

At least she is doing it for a good cause.

Max, giver her a break. After all, she's only got TWO legs...and not four like us. We don't think we'd trade two legs for two thumbs, nosiree.

We feel your pain, Max. Our human is just plain peculiar, too. Don't know what she'd do without us!
~Casper and Angel~

W are confoosed about the 2-foot walking stuff. Like they dont figure out by 2 years old? We mean, why do they need ta practice.

Mebbe they ferget when they sit down in the chairs an watch the picture box all day.

Thank Ceiling Cat ours doesnt... We still dont unnerstand the 2-foot trick, but at least he usually keeps moving.

Tell her to come over here, Moosh hasn't gotten the hang of it either. Does she give lessons?

We understands how hard it is for a kitty to has to wait for hims fud.
But my mommy sais your Woman is amazing acause it's not easy fur beans to train in the hots. And your woman not starts with the same healfs that the other moms has. My mommy sias your woman is inspirashunal. Whatever that means.
Still she should feeds you afore she goes out.

your mommeh has realleh losted her mind, hasn't she...

They harder they try the more ridiculous they look! Sheesh.

Why do the humans torture themselves like this?? Oh yeah...it's for a good cause!!

Max, we're going thru the same thing. But it's werse cuz the FL puts Ben Gay on her herty parts, and boys duz that krap STINK!!! It evens berns my eyes. I dunno hoo Ben is or why he's happy, but I wish he wood just go away.