Every morning after the Woman gets up, she goes into the giant litterbox room, sticks her head under the tub faucet, and tries to rid herself of some pretty nasty head funk. It doesn't really work, so this morning I decided to be really nice and do something about that. I jumped up on the bed before she was awake, and licked her hair all over, so that it was perfectly groomed and coifed just so.
Then she gets up and goes into the giant litterbox room and looks in the mirror and says "Holy crap! My hair is sticking up like those guys from Flock of Seagulls!" Or something like that. It was most definitely unfavorable. And then she ran her fingers through it and looked at me and said "It's wet. This is cat spit isn't it?"
She didn't sound as happy as she should have. I told her she looked pretty amazing, way better than she normally does, but she just sucked in a deep breath and let it out in that obnoxious way that people do.
And then. Then! She kneeled on the floor and stuck her head under that water and tried to undo all my efforts! So I jumped on her back and tried to at least do something with that stupid neck hair of hers, and she said "Yeah, you're a big help aren't you?" Well FINALLY! At least she admits it.
I'm still not happy she undid all my hard grooming work.
How rude.
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