You know, I try to be helpful. As annoying as humans are, they feed me (and yeah, as hard as it is to admit, they feed me well), and change the litterbox with acceptable frequency. So I try to do my bit, but do they appreciate it in return?

Hell no.

Take this morning. The Man gets up early most mornings and wanders off for the better part of the day. I know he hates it when the alarm clock goes off, so I try to get up the stairs a little before that happens, and I sing for my people. It’s better to wake to music, isn’t it?

Do they like it?

Hell no.

I stood out there in the hall, singing at the top of my lungs, and what did I get?

“Stop it, Max.”
“Be quiet Max.”
“Dammit, Max, shut up.

He did get up, and he did make it out the door at his usual time, but do I get any thanks?

Hell no.


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