February 22, 2019

Oh, Bast, It's Back

The pretend bike ride dammit machine. The Woman rolled it into the house tonight because next weeks it's supposed to rain and she's tired of missing rides because she's too delicate to go outside and get wet.

How delicate is she? See that white box with the hose that goes out the window, behind the running dammit machine?

It's a cold air blowing thingy. AND THE HOUSE HAS ONE BUILT IN. But she's a weenie and needs more cold air--and you can't even see the fan in the doorway, just in front of the pretend boat you can't see.

This is all very good for her, but those things are noisy and I'm pretty sure that the bike will eat a kitty if he's not careful walking around it.

There's a purpose to her sudden desire to actually use these things. She has this illusion of getting fast enough to walk/jog this race in San Francisco next year...she's motivated by the hot chocolate they give out at the finish line. Like, woman, you can make that chit here. Or ride your bike the .63 miles to Dutch Bros and get a cup there. You don't need to make a lot of noise here, where I live, just to get something for free there.

She's also decided to do the boobie walk again. Yeah, I know, she was done, it hurts, she's not sure it's a good idea, barfus ad infinitum.

IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA, KAREN. YOU NEED TO STAY HOME SO I HAVE USE OF YOUR THUMBS.

Why can't she just raise the money and stay home?

Oh yeah. Free t-shirt at the end. IT'S NOT REALLY FREE, lady. Cripes, offer someone a big donation to their walk IF they send you their t-shirt at the end. I bet someone would.

Whatever. I have time until that inconveniences me.

The dammit machine? That's a problem NOW.

Maybe it I pee on the chain, she won't be able to use it to make so much noise.

I wonder if I can aim that high.

Welp, there's only one way to find out...

5 comments:

Lone Star Cats said...

MOL! My momma duz dat bike stuff - wif da dog in a basket. It are CRAZY!

William’s Kith & Kin said...

Our mom used to have one sort of like that--we think she used it for a total of 12 minutes before she gave up. Our old bro Russell used it more than she did. She sold it when we moved. About seven years ago, while on another pointless fitness kick, she got a Gazelle. That lives in the garage now, all folded up. If somebody needs exercise, just chase toys is our motto.

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Iza, and Marley) said...

Ack! Bike spokes, cat tail, bad combo... It would be Max The Manx!!!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

doodz.....we think itz awesum yur momz gonna walk...de food servizz gurl walkz but shuld like WAAAAAAAAAY mor N her haza good friend who walkz de boobee walk everee yeer ♥♥♥

Eastside Cats said...

Somehow, Max, I'm thinking that the free t-shirt and hot cup of cocoa isn't the real incentive for raising $$ for a good cause! But what do I know; I am too much of a weenie to even try!