Damn, I'm nice.

Posted by Max | Posted on 8/19/2014 06:47:00 PM

Ok, so the Woman has a birthday next week. Like, one week from today. She turns about 143 years old, I think, but she can still get around mostly all right.

So the other night I was sitting on her lap, sharing the massive amount of available space with her computer, and she was surfing around, looking at things, and I had the thought that I really should get her something for her birthday. Because, you know, that's what you do for the person who opens the cans of food.

Now, you have to remember, the Woman is basically a dood with boobs, so shiny things like jewelry just don't cut it. I could get her a pair of sneakers and she would like that more than a necklace or bracelet. I don't know her exact shoe size, though, and a cursory glance on Amazon doesn't list "boat-sized" as an option, but I did note she kept looking at the same thing in different colors.

So I said, "Hey, go buy yourself something pretty. You can take the money out of my royalties."

She was so busy looking at the toy she coveted that I don't think she heard me.

"That," I sad, poking my paw at the monitor. "I have enough monies for that, right? Go get it for yourself."

So today she did.


I'm pretty sure that took all the money I had left for the year so I need to get my asterisk in gear and finish my current book so that I have monies for Toys for Tots this Christmas, or at least sell a bunch more books, but I'm pretty sure I can do that.

And she's happy. She liked her old rumbly bike but apparently this one has magic brakes or something, which makes it special.

Hell, I'm just glad I don't have to go outside to go shopping.

Comments (18)

Max you are one in a million. I'd have made the woman spend all the money on a funky cat tree for me if I had written a book...

That thing looks expensive so you're right you need to finish your book. Maybe you'll get so much money(if the likes you are getting on the various blogs you write are any indication of your potential book sales this new one will sell super fast)that not only will you have enough for the toy drive but you can get a speedboat. Oh yeah, cats don't like water. Drag!

Wow Max, you are very generous with the purrthday presents. Our mum's is about 6 months from now. We know we won't do nearly as good.

Wow, Mr. Awesome! How generous of you! I hope this helps a little but when your next book comes out, I am requesting 4 books right now for me and 3 friends! Would you pawtograph them too please?

PS Your other books have been read at least 6 times each!

You made her real happy, Max! Will she take you for a ride??

AND her shoes match! MOL!

What's that thing on top of her helmet? Is that where you plug her in???

Wow, dat are one cool present!

Whoa, that is pretty amazing! As long as YOU don't have to ride on it, Max!

Wow Max! You really are generous, and the bike looks great. My human is lucky to get a birthday card from me.
MOL at Angel Prancer Pie's comment.

wow that is pretty generous considering how much work you are going to have to do to pay for it :)

I will be ready to buy your book the second it's available. You make me laugh so hard!!

Well, crap. My mom's birthday is next month. How am I going to top that awesomeness???

Max, you is one amazing, generous cat! You is also making the rest of us look like wienies, MOL!!

Hope your mom bean enjoys her new ride!

Sasha, Sami, & Saku

She should definitely pop for some real live fresh dead shrimp for you, cuz you're so awesomely generous!

Holy CRAP MAX - that is the coolest brithday present ever from a cat or any other species for that matter. Don't be surprised if your royalties have been are sucked dry by your unusual generosity, so get going on that new book if you want to spend money like some trust fund baby. Your heart (who knew you had one) was in the right place Max. Your human deserved an amazing gift& you made her very happy. Just make sure she's careful of all the idjits out there on the road & that she wears her helmet. Maybe you could take some of the royalties from the next book & buy yourself a helmet & a sidecar so you & the human could go cruising together. Tell the Human Happy 143rd Birthday!

There's that tender heart of yours peeking through again Max!
The woman is stylin' on that bike, wow!!!!!

Dude, you are so cool for doing that