Sheesh.

The Man got home from passing gas all night and fed me, so I crawled into a hidy place and curled up to snooze. Next thing I know the Woman is shoving me into that plastic tomb and carrying me out to the car.

I hadn't even digested breakfast yet!

So. I did not bite anyone. That never accomplishes anything, anyway. I never get to leave and if I bite they drug me up and I feel groggy the rest of the day. Nope, I let the bald guy look inside my mouth--he had no trouble getting it open--and then in my ears. Heck, I even let him take my temperature. All the while he's telling me how good I am, how nice I'm being.

So then I did it.

I pooped all over the table. And while he was reaching for the paper towels, I jumped up on the Woman's shoulder, ran down her back, and pooped all over her, too. And it stunk. I mean, you know it's bad when you offend yourself.

He couldn't find anything in my mouth or ears, I didn't growl or hiss when when touched my jaw, but I did have a fever. So then the bad thing happened.

The really bad thing.

He took me to the back room and stabbed me, stealing even more of my blood.

So I pooped on that table. They cleaned me up and put me back in the plastic tomb and took me back out to the Woman, she paid, and on the way home...well, you guessed it.

I pooped a little bit more.

I AM THE POOP KING!

Supposedly the Woman will know more tomorrow about my blood. She says it's good news that I don't appear to need work on my teeth and that I don't seem to have any swelling in my jaw or have an ear infection. But now she has pills to crush to put in my food. I wont complain about that too much, because when we got home--after she cleaned me up more and then took a shower (wonder why she felt she neeed one?)--she fed me again.

Even better than being fed again--she locked Buddah in a room while I got to eat, and he heard her and started howling because he wanted some, too. I think she let him lick her yogurt spoon after because she felt bad for him, but I didn't. I heard him howl, and was laughing my black & white butt off.

But yeah.
I went to the stabby place.
They got no idea what might be wrong.
And I pooped alot.

Nice end to a day that started bad.

Comments (0)