The PsychoKitty Speaks Out

People...you're supposed to catch bugs, not eat them. And it seems like a lot of you out there are doing just that, catching teh nearest bug and popping it into your mouth. And when you do that, it makes you unsuitable for feline care, since you spend your time in bed or on the confy chair in the living room, coughing like you're trying to get rid of that bug.

The Woman ate a bug last week, and she's still out of sorts. One of Timothy's People ate a bug, too, which meant he had to keep himself amused (because he is much nicer than me, after all; I tend to pester the Woman no matter how she feels.) Don't People realize that bugs are fun to torture, but they're not so wonderful to munch on?

Evidently not...

Oh, and for the Woman's furthering education:

• Just because I am curled up on top of you while you sleep, that doesn't mean I am snuggling. It means you were lying in the exact spot I wanted to sleep on.


• If, while I'm on you, my head rubs against your chin, I am not nuzzling. It means me head itches.


• My paw rubbing across your face is not "petting my Human." It's just reminding you what I could do if I still had claws, and I am picturing the scars I could leave there...

I need to write another book, I think.