January 04, 2016

It's all turned upside down

I’ve been trying to figure out why I haven’t been able to blog with the regularity I used to. I mean, I have plenty to talk about, because I live with people and they are ripe with disappointed blog fodder. I also live with Buddah, who is moving past his “Pest” name and heading right back to the original “Butt” designation. So what’s the deal? Why am I not blogging as much as I’m on Facebook?

It finally hit me this morning: it’s the Woman’s fault. She’s turned her sleep schedule around, supposedly to accommodate my need to be fed at 7am and my unwillingness to wait for the Man to get home, which means she’s going to bed a heck of a lot earlier than she used to. It’s thrown everything out of whack. I was used to the timing of things they way they’ve been for 14 years, not the way they are now.

The way they are now? She’s awake when I’m napping, and since she’s in bed at normal-people hours at night now, she’s not there to turn the computer on for me. I still get the hit-and-miss moments where I can check on FB, but not much time to sit and pour out my thinks. I’m surprised we’ve gotten my Mousebreath column done the last few weeks. Like, last night…she KNOWS Monday is coming and we used to sit down on Sunday nights to finish it and upload it, but last night she went to bed and didn’t help me until 7:15 this morning.

KITTIES WERE WAITING FOR THAT, WOMAN! I mean, sheesh, there are certain things expected of me, and one of them is that come midnight Pacific time, Ask Max Monday is there for everyone to read. I don’t even want to think of the crushing disappointment that my European and east coast readers felt this morning when it wasn’t there when they woke up.

Doods, I’m really sorry. She should know better.

On the upside, she IS helping me with my first piece of fiction, so I’m finding it hard to complain. Well, complain much. She doesn’t type as fast as I think, and it’s causing some issues.

Plus…well, she’s been grilling real live fresh dead steak for me every week, so that I can have it as bite-sized treats, and if I tick her off, the meaty goodness might stop.

You know what happens when you get real live fresh dead meat as a daily treat? You stop wanting dry treats and dry food, and you lose a little weight. Seriously, doods, this time last year I was over 18 pounds, now I’m bouncing between 16.8 and 17. Without even trying or suffering for it!

Hm. Maybe the Woman needs to eat what I eat. She’s always whining about losing weight.

Happy New Year, Doods. So far, it’s been spectacular. Well, other than my wrecked schedule, but what’s a guy gonna do?







9 comments:

Connie - Tails from the Foster Kittens said...

normal-people hours?? oh that is just wrong.. you need to fix that now.. ;)

See.. I've been tellin you all along that you needs more real live dead shrimps and chickens and cows.. but the woman didn't listen to me so I shutted my mouth.. Hopefully you'll get even more now :)

The Island Cats said...

The Woman needs to get on your schedule, Max.

Ellen in Oregon said...

Sorry to hear your schedule is wrecked Max. Even though it sounds like a lot more is going right in your life than wrong. Maybe the way to get your "thinks" out and is to get one of those recording machines. That way you could record your thinks when you want and then, when the Lady is conscious, she can tippy-type them up & send your post to your patiently waiting fans. Evfurrybuddy knows how important your live-deaded food group is to you. Please don't give up the stinky goodness & crunchies entirely 'cuz kit-tehs need the extra vitamins & nutrients that lived deaded foods don't have. Your gettin' up there is years & your fans don't want you gettin' malnourished. Give the Lady a break. You say she's doin' a lotta stuff right & remember Max, in cat years the lady is ancient. She takes a lickin' & keeps on tickin' as they say. My advice Max. don't rock the boat, esp. when your ahead.

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

So much! Wow. Well, yer schedules are sure mousie! That happens here sometimes, but only fer about a week.

TBT does change his schedule sometimes. Like one week he is up noon ta 4 am fer a week and then 7 am to midnight fer another week. Its OK fer us cuz we get fed 5 times a day when he is awake. We just never know quite when that will be.

We cant say fer sure but it seems there are 2 ways fer us kittehs ta live with Beins. One is on a rwal schedule where we get fed the same times each day and get tossed toy mice at the same time. The other way is to never be quite sure what is gonna happen next (as long as we get fed enough each day of course), nd never knowing when the mice will suddenly get tossed around.

On the whole, we prefer uncertainty. Its more fun...

The Meezers or Billy said...

people have "normal" hours? really?

Mighty Kitty said...

Mr. Awesome, just blog when you are able and do not risk the real live fresh dead steak disappearing! Wish I had normal people hours! I just have a totally confused sleep cycle! You're doing great Max!

The Whiskeratti said...

Yep, it's the people's fault. Always is. They can't help it, really.

The Chaos Cats said...

It's kinda disappointing that you aren't blogging as much, but we totes get it. Real live fresh dead stuff is too important to miss!

Kjelle Bus aka Charlie Rascal said...

Can tell you I have the same problem over here with my mom-person *sigh*