Oh yeah, I said the D word over and over and over...

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/28/2015 12:47:00 PM

The People have a couple of Dammit Machines set up in the library. Some day I expect they'll morph into Coat Racks, but for now they're Dammit Machines.


Now, they've had the one closest to the window for a long time; the Woman uses it when she's practicing her walking for Boobie things and doesn't feel like practicing outside. That's not often, but she does use it once in a while, especially if it's really cold or raining.

The Dammit Machine closest, that's new. The Man got it for her right after Christmas, because she thought she would enjoy pedaling to nowhere and playing on Facebook while she did it.

Now, last year she went on a bike ride outside on her real bike, and barely made it home before she passed out, so I felt obligated to snoopervise her today while she sat on it and surfed Facebook. I mean, if I didn't, who would be there to mock her in her misery if she did faceplant right off it?

I'm not stupid, though. I watched her feet going around and around, and while I needed to be there for her, I didn't want to get hurt by a giant foot slamming into my head.


So I pawed at the blue plastic tomb, which lives right next to her fake bike, and she reached down to open the door for me. EVen though I was erfectly safe in there, it was still kind of noisy what with her pedaling and the fan blowing on her and the TV going, so I kept talking to her.

Whatcha blabbing about, Big Guy? she asked

Nothing. I was blabbing about nothing. I was just saying dammit over and over, because...dammit, that was a lot of noise.

She was only on it for half an hour this time because she said her feet and butt went numb, but supposedly she's going to get back on it later, because, and I quote, It beats the hell out of housework.

That's how lazy she is, doods. She will get on a Dammit Machine and sweat rather than get off her asterisk and clean anything.

I better go take a nap, so that I'm ready to snoopervise again later.

Damn, my life is hard.

Comments (13)

dood...damn, thoz R sum damn nice dammit ma sheenz tho.... if yur peepuls ever sell de damn dammit ma sheenz... we bet they could get one damn nice hunk oh change for de damn thingz...

Those are some damn interesting damnit machines. We don't have anything like that in our home. We sure damn do like your damn blue plastic tomb thing. It looks damn interesting and I know we would have a damn good time sniffing it out!

Try to have a damn good afternoon and evening. Hopefully all you will have to do is take damn naps!

You actually wanted to go into the tomb?!

You're a good snooperviser! That tomb thing is interesting, good place to safely keep an eye on things!

That does sound hard. I hope my human does not get another damnit machine.

I talk to my momma all da time when she exorcises too.

Mum has a pedal machine, but says it makes her knees hurt now. Joints too old.

Your blue container looks a little strange Max. Is it your Tardis?

TBT says he is convinced that housework is better excercise than machines are. Not that he does a whole lot of that housecleaning stuff, but 2x a week isnt bad fer all the twisting, turning, and bending benefits.

Actually, he thinks just standing up is pretty good. Well, of course he can "stand". But standing up and just "doing" stuff around the house seems ta werk pretty good too. Sometimes, when he sits down for dinner its the first sit fer many hours.

He does better outside, but Winter is tricky. So he's been cleaning rooms, rearranging boxes (mostly ta just hide them, but that still takes lifting and moving.

We think we are gonna get him one of those pedometers that measure the steps and/or motions fer his Birfday. That might help.

At least it would help more than the bike he bought. He doesnt use it. Deliberately going nowhere isnt on his priority list.

I have a dammit machine in my house, but luckily it lives in the basement...well out of my sight Max. I'm sure my kitties would't like the noise either.

Good job snoopervising and I love your bubble!

My human hates bikes and pedaling machines - she says it hurts her butt too much. She does have literally dozens and dozens of cardio dance videos, though - although she says sometimes they make her butt hurt too.

Dammit, Max, you are one great kitty! You always put your humans first, even when you need a nap or put up with noise when it hurts a kitty's ears! Can I hire you for crunchy treats to help me too? Dammit. I knew you'd say "no" cause going outside is not your forte! It's ok though. I understand. :-)

Humans are masochists Max. They spend lots of green papers on stoopid exercising masheens & then nearly make their brains explode by watching TV & surfing FB all at the same time. They could go out for a real bike ride, but that would be too simple for them, The woman paid no attention to your "Damnits" & only when she got the numb-butts did she stop peddling her damnit masheen. And what is up with that blue plastic tomb you were using for safety purposes? is it a bed, a space-age litter box or a portal to the 4th dimension? Please let us know what the hell that thing is.

Hi Max! Our mom has a machine that does nothing but hold clothes. MOL We hope she doesn't read this and get on it! We like your plastic tomb, where did you get it?
Love,
Lola and Lexy