Buddah and I were minding our own business, being good and ignoring each other, when we both heard the top pop on a can of Stinky Goodness. STINKY GOODNESS! That which has been withheld from us for FOREVER. We looked at each other, jumped up, and ran into the kitchen, where the Woman was standing there with the can in her hand.

And then you know what happened? Do you? I can hardly believe it happened. SHE ATE IT. The Woman had a can of wonderful Stinky Goodness, she opened it up, and she spread it on bread and SHE ATE IT.

Look, people, Stinky Goodness is CAT FOOD and not people food. It is really not fair to open a can when you've refused it to your kitties for months and months, and it's doubly not fair for you to waste it by spreading it on bread and then telling the kitties, "It's just chicken spread."

We're not blind. We know what Stinky Goodness looks like. We have a keen sense of smell and know what it smells like. And Woman, today you ate a can of Stinky Goodness and you only gave us each a tiny lick of it.

That was mean, and that was rude, and tonight while you sleep something of yours will meet a toothy death.

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