The Woman did not feel any pressing need to squirt me with that stupid water bottle this morning. Instead of standing by the door and singing to her, I jumped up on the bed and waited. I stood right next to her face, with my head hung low so that the first thing she would see when she opened her eyes was my beautiful face.

When she woke up, I learned that Jesus Christ is on a pogo stick, and she just lost 3 years off her life.

I'd like to see the guy on the pogo stick, personally.

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