I think they’re mad at me again, but I don’t know why. The Man came home and chased me around the house with that horrible stick he rubs all over my teeth, and he managed to corner me on my window perch and did it while all the birds outside could see. And they were mocking me, I know they were! I could hear them chirping away, laughing at the poor bastard feline being molested by the much larger human.

Then the Woman comes home and she has this thing in a shiny purple bag, and on the bag are these bright ribbony things. It was pretty, and I wanted to see what was in it. But would she let me stick my head in the bag to see? Hell, no. First she chased me off the table, and when I went back (thinking she wasn’t looking) she caught me and then took the shiny purple bag and hid it in the pantry, where I can’t get to it.

I just want to see what’s in the bag! But nooooo, it’s “not for the kitty.” It’s “a present for someone else.”

When do I get a present?

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