Please do not tell me to get my face out of your plate. You are not sitting at the table, where I understand the rules and follow them. You are sitting in a chair in front of the TV, where I frequently nap and bathe, plus what you have on that plate smells pretty good, so I am within my rights to investigate it for potential kitty consumption. I don't know why you have a problem with that; I didn't actually lick anything, I just sniffed it. Closely. My nose might have touched the crust of your pizza, but that's it. And really, it wouldn't have killed you to give me a bite.

Next time, I just might sneeze.

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