Apparently, we're supposed to have some revolutions for the New Year. I think Buddah is going to start in the kitchen, run down the hall like his butt is on fire, jump over the steps at the stair entry, through the living room into the family room, and back into the kitchen. If he does it 20-30 times, I think that's enough revolutions around the house, and it should count.

Me, I'm just going to stomp in circles on my bed until I'm ready to sleep. That should only take a minute or so. Pretty much how I start every year...

All right...Christmas is over, Santa came, and I got stuff. I was good for when I needed to be good, right? So why is the Woman surprised that I've been waking her up this week by punching her in the eye? Isn't that what I do? Does she not remember this? Why is she not happy that I'm not punching her at 4 a.m.? I'm being nice, I'm waiting until just a few minutes before she would normally get up anyway.

Appreciate me, dammit.

Merry Christmas!

This is what you get when you try to thank a people for a Merry Chrstmas. They grab you and get all huggy and chit.

Santa was really nice to us; he got Buddah another one of those sproingy toys (so now *I* don't have to buy it for him!) and this really odd box with a bunch of holes. There are balls on the inside and the idea is to try to get the balls out, but they roll away pretty easy so it takes a lot of work. Buddah thinks it's perfect and he can't wait to drop his toy mousies in it.

And oh man, we got some toy mousies that look real. Real enough that someday the Woman is going to forget about them and we'll drop one in her lap and freak her out. I can't wait for that...even if it's a month from now, it'll totally make my Christmas.

The Woman didn't cook again ths year; they went out again but this time she didn't bring us back anything. I would go poop on her pillow for that, but she did open a can for us as soon as they got home, and she promised a crunchy treat for later.

There are pictures of our Christmas on our Flickr thingy, if you want to see them. There's one picture there of Buddah playing with this new feather toy...man, he got some serious air there! And there aren't too many of me, but I was trying to let him play because he was so excited he would have peed all over the place if he had to wait his turn. I figure that will score me some crunchy treat points. I'm no fool.

I hope everyone else had a fun day, too!

No matter what the Woman says, I was not petting her this morning!!! Absolutely not! I was just reminding her, in a nice way, that if I want, I can eat her face off while she sleeps.

Secret Paws!!!

The Woman went to the post office today, and she came back with a box for us! It's our Secret paw present, and our Secret Paws are Kimo & Sabi! They gave us our favorite things, like crunchy treats and kitty crack and Stinky Goodness. And they even remembered the People, with a kitty calendar!

The Woman put pictures of us opening our box and playing on our Flickr thingy. Go see!

Thank you Kimo & Sabi!!!!

I think she's serious. There was no Stinky Goodness this morning, either. I was nice to her, too, I sat on the bed very quietly while I waited for her to wake up, and when she did I was really hoping she would go downstairs and open a can, but all she did was yawn, rub my head, and then went into the office to put crunchy food into our bowls.

I'm trying to be very good and not raise too much of a fuss. Maybe if I'm nice she'll decide I'm too sweet to torture, and she'll give in. And maybe elves will fly out of Santa's butt when he comes to bring toys.

SHE SAID I'M FAT!!!!

She gave us a can of Stinky Goodness to split for dinner and said she was sorry about this morning, but there will be no more Stinky Goodness for breakfast because she thinks I'm fat! Evidently watching me run down the stairs is unattractive and amusing for the girth that flaps back and forth.

Well....YEAH YOU'RE FAT TOO, LADY!!! At least my thighs don't spark when I run.

Maybe Santa will lay the snackdown on her and make her give me back my Stinky Goodness. He can do that, right???

There has been no Stinky Goodness today.

We always get it first thing in the morning, either when the Man comes home from passing gas, or someone gets out of bed.

But today...nothing. The Woman got up and put out crunchy food, but she wouldn't go downstairs and open a can for us.

I keep waiting, but it's almost 12:30 in the afternoon, and I don't think anyone is going to get it for us.

I am so sad.

Today the Man's Mom came to visit. She's nice, so I let her give me head skritches. Buddah was his typical crackhead self and kept sneaking around to peek, but he didn't get close enough to get head skritches. He wasted all that energy running around, and he could have done like I did: lounge on top of the climbing tower, and let her come to me, to bask in the Wonder that is Max.

And the Woman caught him chewing on the Christmas tree. She didn't get mad becuase he was all excited, but still. Little Mr. Perfect got caught!

You may have noticed (or maybe you haven't, because you just don't give a flying fig) that the World's Greatest Book Ever is still not for sale. The intention was to have it ready to order in time for the holidays, but when the deadline was extended (which was a very good thing because stuff that was submitted after Oct 15th is priceless) it was a bit much to expect everyone to be able to get their publishing agreements signed and back to the Woman in time to pull it off.

Since some of those agreements are coming from halfway around the world, it's taking some time. And the Woman, being the sucker that she is, wants to wait so she doesn't have to cut anyone from the book.

So...as it stands now, she's waiting until January 1st. Hopefully all PAs will be here by then.

For those who have been waiting to buy the book, and those who busted their butts to get the agreements signed and in the mail, we offer our sincere apologies. It looks like everyone involved has mailed an agreement, but overseas mail seems to take more time than expected.

On the plus side, it's totally worth waiting for!

She puts a basket of freshly laundered clothes, right out of the dryer, on the floor. Does she really think I'm NOT going to curl up in them? I totally don't get people sometimes. It would do them some good to plop down onto some sleepy-warm stuff out of the dryer, and take a good long nap.

The Woman spent the afternoon cleaning the kitchen, especially the counters. She scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed, until the whole house smelled like bleach and everyone's eyes were watering, and when she was done she was quite proud of how clean the counters were.

So I jumped up to inspect.

And then she says, "I just cleaned those! Why are you up there?"

Um, because you just cleaned them. Clean counters feel good on a kitty's tushy. In fact, while everyone is asleep tonight, I think I'll get up there and enjoy every single clean counter top under my nice furry butt.

Think about that when you've got your breakfast sitting on one of them tomorrow morning.

Look, I know Santa is coming. That's not the reason I let the Woman sleep an hour past breakfast time today. I did that because I'm nice, dangit! If Santa noticed, well, that's incidental.

He did notice, right?

This is what I think of tonight's picture-taking...



The Woman took a bunch of pictures tonight...
Some of them she uploaded to Flickr if ya wanna see.

If Santa wasn't looking, I'd break that camera.

Heh.

I just Googled myself.

Now I feel dirty.

Heh.

Heh.

Heh heh.

The Woman lets Buddah play with the giant packs of toilet paper; he likes to jump on them and poke a hole in the plastic on top and stick his paws in, and sometimes he drops a mousie in the hole so he can play at getting it out. But I don't think she counted on him playing so hard that he pushed the whole pack out of the giant litterbox room and into the hallway. And she certainly didn't notice it before she went in there and shut the door a little while ago.

I'm thinking that after hearing her saying really bad words through the door, that she realized it after the door was closed and there was no People there to get it for her.

Just Buddah and me, and we weren't helping.

I don't think Santa will count that against us. If he saw, he was laughing his a$$ off...

Let's Play A Game!

Ever found something on another kitty's blog that just made you laugh and nearly shoot Stinky Goodness out your nose? Let's play This Kitty Blog Made Me Chuckle!

In the comments, tell us who makes you laugh, why, and where their blog is. I'll start:

Skeezix
Every time he calls his Man "Mr. Tasty Face" I want to laugh and pee myself.
http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/

Your turn!

You can play as many times as you want!

The little black monster is coming along quite nicely.

He and the Woman were looking out the window today, and Buddah stood on the small climbing tower and started to rub his head against hers, like he was all cuddly and chit, and when she bent a little lower to make it easier for him, he bit her on the head.

I kid you not! Buddah stretched up a little bit and chomped right down on her head!

She was so surprised she didn't even do anything, just told him "We don't bite," but after that, I'm pretty sure we do...