Look, Im trying to get along with the little chit, but he's not making it easy. His idea of fun is to spend every waking moment trying to clamp his teeth in my butt, my neck, or anything else he can get hold of. He doesn't seem to grasp the idea that that flicking thing is my tail and not some random toy.

Oh, and speaking of toys...his spit is on all of my toys. The People bought him his own, but he prefers mine. MINE!

I'm sleeping at night right by the Woman's head to protect her, because you never know when that scrawny little thing will show up. We wouldn't want him to eat her face in her sleep. And he might really try! And I need her around to feed me.

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