I haven’t had the chance to catch one of those incredibly ugly birds that have made the front yard their home, but I still intend to. I keep looking out at them, and they’re all pretty big, which theoretically means a hell of a lot of meat on their bones. It’s possible they’re not inedible after all. I want to find out.

And the People wised up; they no longer return smelling of dog, though the Woman came in yesterday (after being out there in a chair on the front lawn all freaking day, leaving me here all alone) smelling kind of funky. I think it was the smell of Sticky Little People. If she brings one of those home, not only will I poop on her pillow, but I might have to hack up a hairball or two, carefully placed deep enough in their shoes where they won’t see it right off the bat.

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