=AHEM= Since Christmas is coming...

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/28/2013 09:38:00 PM

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I don't want to be a pimp blog, but the holidays are coming and gift giving is coming and some of y'all expressed an interest in the things the Man makes when he's out in the garage instead of being in the house where he can admire me.

And even I have to admit, the stuff he makes is pretty cool.

Some of his newest pens...I think if you click you can biggify
He's got more than pens; he's got these thingies that help you put a bracelet on, bottle stoppers ( for like wine bottles for all you boozers out there), clocks, keyrings...lots of things.

Go check it out! CLICKY HERE or click on the link in the sidebar.

If he sells stuff, he might even buy me something like REAL LIVE FRESH DEAD SHRIMP!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING USA DOODS!!!

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/28/2013 12:00:00 AM

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No turkey for us this year. Again. But we get to see the Younger Human and I'm pretty sure there will be pie, so that'll suffice.

I hope you guys all have a great day!

Why rabbits might be smarter than dogs. Or horses.

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/24/2013 02:35:00 PM

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There's no proof!

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/22/2013 03:00:00 PM

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You may have heard a rumor today, probably on Facebook, that I was seen playing with one of these:

The Cat's Meow Toy
You know how rumors are: someone sees something and misunderstands it, and the next thing you know that misunderstanding is all over the freaking place.

I assure you, I was not playing with this thing.

There was something alive under it, and I was hunting.

Then I killed it.

But I was not playing.

And there's no proof, just that ugly rumor...

I deserve more

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/20/2013 11:30:00 PM

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Chances are, if you follow me on Facebook, you know that one of my biggest issues with the Woman is that she frequently sits here without pants on. She wears these super thin Lycra shorts, but that's kinda like wearing nothing, and sitting on her lap is unpleasant because the shorts make it slippery and her blubber makes it squishily uncomfortable.

So I might have mentioned once or twice or ten times that I would like it if she would just put some pants on, so that I can be more comfortable.

Today she put pants on, and took a picture to prove it. But doods, don't let that fool you. It didn't benefit me at all. She put them on to go outside, and 20 seconds after she took the picture those pants were in a heap on top of the hamper in the bathroom.

By the time I got up from my second afternoon nap, she was back in her chair, watching TV while being all pantsless.

Why won't she think of the kitties? Really now.

I SAID I'D GET OFF THE TABLE WHEN I WANT!

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/15/2013 10:31:00 PM

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NOW GO MAKE ME A SAMMICH, WOMAN!

Guess what I'm eating! GUESS!

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/14/2013 06:30:00 PM

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REAL LIVE FRESH DEAD STEAK!!!

I didn't even know the People had gone somewhere because I was taking my 3rd afternoon nap, but I heard the door open and close, and a couple minutes later my plate being put on the counter, so I got up to investigate. And it was steak! They must have gone out to see Mr. Cat Elman again and he sent home some delicious meaty wonder! 

Better yet: in an hour I get dinner!

Sweet!

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/13/2013 11:19:00 PM

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Fireplace dood was here today! He cleaned all the pieces and parts of the fire thingy and put it all back together, and even cleaned the glass thing that keeps it from eating my fur.

I'm gonna be doing a lot of this during the winter
It's really not cold enough to get to use it, but the people have turned it on a couple of times just so Buddah and I can flop down and soak up some warms.

I didn't get to see Fireplace dood because I was napping under the bed and didn't even know he was here until he gone. Buddah got to see him and says he's a very nice guy who didn't even chase him around with his giant noisy vacuum thingy.

That's always a bonus.

Books! Books! Buy a Book! And Not Even Mine!

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/10/2013 09:59:00 AM

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Ok, Doods, y'all know Mo from Purrchance to Dream, right? He's Dad to a bunch of our kitty friends, and he runs the CB page, AND he teaches sticky people. Or almost-not-sticky-anymore-people.

Anyways, his classroom needs books. Kids need books because without them their brains don't really form right and they're all mushy, which leads to them being super grumpy and then all they know how to do is text on their not-so-smart phones, using Kiddie Speak, like, "LOL u c dis? I cnt rilly reed!"

You can help. Mo has a wishlist of books and things for his classroom, and they're not at all spendy.

Please go buy one; Amazon will send it right to him so you don't even have to put pants on to leave the house. You'll be contributing to the betterment of some kids whose school doesn't quite have the fundage to load the bookcases in all the classrooms.


Remember, Santa is watching, and it would give you a few points on the Good Kitty List.

Just sayin'...

San Francisco Doods!

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/08/2013 08:19:00 PM

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OK, so you guys know the Younger Human jumps into icy cold water every year to raise money for the Special Olympics, right? He's started his fundraising this year and there are gonna be prizes again, but the first one is one doods in the SF Bay Area will be most interested in.


Tickets to see The Book of Mormon at the Orpheum Theater on December 13th. That's a $250 value prize right there for one of the hottest shows out there. Every $5 you donate gets you a shot at them (and future prizes!) and he's drawing the winner on November 20th.


I'd try to win them but they don't allow cats in the theater. Plus, I don't want to leave the house.

All the money he raises goes to a good cause, and if he hits his goal this year, he'll dunk as a Princess again. But the kicker...the more money he raises, the more skin he'll show. If he hits $2000 he'll be a princess but if he hits $3000 he'll be a Jasmine-like princess!

I kind of wonder...if he hits $4000, can we get him to jump in the Woman's pink tights and other boobie things? Heh.

I don't have pictures to prove it, but...

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/07/2013 08:54:00 PM

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...doods...

I CAN HAZ CHEEZEBURGER!!!

Tonight the man threw some real live fresh dead cow on the grill and used the hots from the grill and some cheese and turned it into cheezeburgers, and I totally got some!

Later, when the Woman opened a can for my dinner and plopped that Fancy Feast onto my plate, I sniffed at it and decided it wasn't what I wanted, she freaking opened another can for me!

I'm also pretty sure that if I ask, she'll even turn on the fire thingy for me.

It's been a awesome day!

Dona Nobis Pacem

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/04/2013 12:00:00 AM

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NaNoWhatMo?

Posted by Max | Posted on 11/01/2013 09:47:00 PM

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Phfft.

So here we were, writing my book, slowly making progress, when all the sudden last night the Woman announces that she's setting it aside for a while to write some piece of fluff for NaNoWriMo. And she knows it's fluff because she already titled it Fifty Thousand Words of Suck.

Oh, she says it'll be good for us to take a break because we've scrapped more words than we've kept, and that I have a whole month to really think about the direction I want the book to go, but she's missing the point.

She did not ask my permission.

Sure, I don't mind some down time, and the chance for extra naps, but don't you think she would have asked me if I thought it was all right first?

Oh, and she added insult to injury by getting a tattoo that wasn't of me.

AND THERE WERE STICKY PEOPLE AT MY DOOR LAST NIGHT.

I need some nip. Some really, wicked good, awesome nip.