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Ya know, once in a while I appreciate it when the People clean inside the house. It renews the canvas upon which I can spread my glorious fur, and leaves shiny places for me to sit on and, um, toot upon, which can leave some nice marks.

But... Today the woman was washing the outside of the house.

Isn't the outside, like, self-cleaning? Does she not realize that once in a while, there's thins thing that happens that does for free and without any effort on her part, accomplish the same thing?

It's called rain, People.

Sheesh. Washing the outside of the house. Like that does me any good.

Plus, the noise interrupted my nap.

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Hendrix Bendrix tagged me for the Six Word Memoir Meme. Basically, my life, summed up in six words.


Crunchy treats, then leave me alone

Yep..that's me...

Seems like everyone has done this, but if not, consider yourself tagged.

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Ok...we softened up the background so that white wouldn't be so jarring; hopefully a little tint of blue will help with that (the Woman agreed with Bob--her old eyes were not happy with the contrast.)

It appears that this template works fine with current versions of Firefox, IE, SeaMonkey, and Opera. If the post section is below the side tables, you're probably using IE6 or older, and I don't know how to fix it to work with those. If the post table is bleeding over into the right bar, it's your monitor resolution. I'll work on that; it might mean making the overall table narrower...but generally I optimize for 1024 x 768 resolution. If your system is set for that or higher and it still bleeds, please let me know.

If we can't get this working for 99.99% of the kitties who visit my blog and make my day, we'll revert back to the old template and just tweak that a little.

I'm not sure how much will get done today, though, because yesterday was the Man's birthday but he had to work, so we're celebrating today. After his violin lesson the People might leave us at home while they go out to dinner, and then it's presents and cake! Buddah and I chipped in on a present (and it's totally cool!) and if we're really good the rest of the day we might each get a tiny, tiny taste of cake.

can I go for a ride?Buddah's being a butthead, so he might not get any. No, really, he's being all I'm A Tough Kitty today and it's really ticking off the Woman. If he jumps on me one more time, she's going to let him go for a ride in the dryer. Well, she SAYS she will. She's threated me with that, and I've even gotten into the dryer to wait because that sounds like fun, but she never follows through.

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We're working on the template tonight...if things look hosed up or hairy, it's because the Woman is trying to think, and her brain is not used to the activity.



Later: it's all centered in IE but not Firefox or SeaMonkey. And we can't figure out why some of the links in the blogroll are normal size with the rest being teeny tiny.

If stuff looks weird to you, please comment...let me know what browser you're using, too. I would appreciate it.


Later Later: I think we got any hiccups fixed, but we're still not sure about the whole layout and colors and stuff.

Some links still needed to be added, like a link to the WATK books, but we're going to make a whole new page for books, so that might take a day or so.

If you hate the new skin, feel free to say so. It will make the Woman cry, but...so?

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If a person does not want a kitty to meow in their ear while they are sleeping, then they should get up at a more reasonable hour and pay attention to the kitty. It's very simple.

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WooHoo! We're all gonna be famous!. There's an article, written by the soon-to-be-a-Pulitzer-winner Alexandra Horowitz, and it was published on Monday, and it mentions me and Mom Robyn and the Cat Blogosphere.

Oh, it mentions the Woman, too, but we all know she's just my minion.

Since a lot of people are going to be visiting the cat blogosphere now, we need to get ourselves all spiffied up and post really funny stuff so they're entertained, and then eventually they'll come to welcome their new feline overlords.

(We are still taking over the world, right?)

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Buddah licked me.

ON THE HEAD!

He must die. be pushed down the stairs.

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I tell ya what, I lick my own butt, and even I wouldn't lick whatever it was the People had for dinner tonight. Supposedly it was little balls of meat, but I think they had been stored in someone's guym socks for a month or two. The People actually ATE them, and LIKED it. Which tells you something about People...

And today I tried to help the Woman out--that drawing she let someone put on her arm just won't wash off, so I figured a little Max-sandpaper-tongue might help it along. It still won't come off! I did my part, I tried. It didn't taste very good, either.

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If People liked crunchy treats, I'd be giving the Woman 5 or 6 of them right about now. Heck, I might even give her 8 or 9. Because she made Buddah cry.

Heh.

If you ever want to make Buddah cry, go into the giant litterbox room while he's taking care of bizness, and plop down on the giant litterbox. He hates anyone seeing him pee and gets all embarrassed, and will start crying like the little girl he is deep down.

The Woman accomplished this today, and to me, that is a crunchy-treat-worthy effort. I only wish it had been me.

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Just an FYI, People...

If you're awake enough to stumble out of bed at 4:15 in the morning to play What's That Smell? you're awake enough to pay attention to the kitty. Grunting at the kitty and going back to bed without head skritches and crunchy treats is just plain rude.

It's not a toothy death offense or even pillow pooping offense, but if you do it, don't be surprised when 15 pounds of kitty drops dead weight right onto your face at 4:18.

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Ahhhhh hahahahahahahahahaha...I love Cheezburger...


humorous pictures

If the people only knew...

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Buddah and I have a new game; we're going to call it Timmy's Down The Well?, and while you can play it in a one story house, it works much better if you have stairs.

This is how it goes:

One kitty stays downstairs. The other kitty runs up the stairs as loud as he can, initialing making whatever person is upstairs (and in bed, it's best if they're in bed; it's doubly best if it's COLD for the person without any blankets covering them up) think a rousing game of Thundering Herd Of Elephants has begun. Once upstairs, the kitty stands at the bedroom door and meows a lot. It doesn't matter what you say ("Hey! Doofus! Shower already!") because all they hear is "Meow! Meow meow meow meow meow!"

Then run back out the top of the stairs, and repeat. The person will not follow, because the person is inherently lazy.

Now, the kitty downstairs must let out one pathetic sounding Meow. Like: meow?

Then the first kitty runs back into the bedroom, jumps up on the bed and gets in the person's face and says loudly MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!!!! and heads back towards the stairs.

Now, this is critical. This is when the kitty downstairs must wail. "Meeeooow. Meeeeeooooowwwww! MEEEEOOOOOWWWWWW!"

The person will now get out of bed, saying "Is something wrong? Is he hurt?" and will follow you as you RUN down the stairs.

When you're all downstairs, both kitties must meow. You will be laughing at your person, but they won't know it. Try not to high-five each other, otherwise the person will get mad.

Now, run into whatever room the crunchy treats are kept, because surely you will be given a few for your cleverness.

(Or not...the important thing is to get your person out of bed. If they fall for it and give you treats, that's just a bonus.)

This is great fun, and one of the only good things about there being another kitty in the house.

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Yesterday was the Younger Human's birthday. He turned 25 and I was thinking Whoa..that's, like, OLD and I was going to creep up onto his bed while he was asleep and look for gray hair, but he never came home for it! I got him a present and a card, and he stayed out eating real live fresh dead cow and drinking beer with his friends. So I didn't get to look for gray hair, but I bet they're there, little gray hairlings waiting to burst forth.

He got his presents today. I got him a t-shirt that says "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...and then it's 'Hey! Free Eyeball!'"

I thought it was funny.

And I got him a very nice card AND put money in it, but apparently it's RUDE to sign a birthday card with "Here's 3 bux, go buy me something."

Whatever.

Old people have no sense of humor.

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Ohh...guys....Oh man. I discovered something this morning. Mirrors are TEH EVIL!!11!! I was helping the Woman wake up this morning and she stumbled into the bathroom so she could stuff herself full of drugs meds, and I jumped up onto the back of the porcelain litter box...and I saw myself in the mirror.

Whoa. I am fat. Why didn't anyone tell me? I have these rolls coming off my stomach when I sit down, and it looks like my fur is puddling around my legs. It's gross.

I think I'm gonna have to give up the crunchy treats. And the shrimp. But what am I gonna do without shrimp? Real live fresh dead shrimp. I drool just thinking about it.

But I'm fat. I gotta give it up.

Bummer.